


Heaven on Earth

by dean_cas_cursed_or_not



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:07:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_cas_cursed_or_not/pseuds/dean_cas_cursed_or_not
Summary: Dean moved the breakfast tray closer to Cas’s nose to try to wake him up. Cas slowly opened his eyes and peeked at the breakfast.“Mmmmmm. Smells so good. Thank you, Dean““No problem, Cas. Now, come on, get up and eat.”“No, not yet. Not until I get my morning kiss.”Dean laughed as he leaned in to offer a kiss that’s just like everything else this morning - soft, gentle, and perfect.“I love you, Cas.”“I love you, too, Dean. I wish you had told me this before it was too late.” said Cas with a sad smile.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 29
Collections: Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Reunion





	Heaven on Earth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [internetintroverts](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=internetintroverts).



> This was written as part of the ProfoundBond fic exchange for internetintroverts. I really do hope you like it!

Dean was standing near the trees outside the bunker enjoying the gentle early morning sun. The rising sun cast a rosy hue across the morning sky. He could hear the birds singing and flying around, relishing the perfect spring morning. 

_I should probably head inside and make some breakfast._ Dean thought, _Cas will be up soon._

As he was making breakfast he was thinking if he should surprise Cas with a breakfast in bed. Some bacon, toast and eggs to go with a hot cup of coffee.

He set the breakfast on the tray and took it to their room. Cas was still sleeping, Dean could feel his heart swell with love seeing him so peaceful and content. 

“Hey, Angel. Rise and shine.”, Dean said softly, caressing his cheek. 

“Nooooo. I want to sleep. Few more minutes”, Cas grumbled. 

“Come on, wake up. I made you breakfast.” 

Dean moved the breakfast tray closer to Cas’s nose to try to wake him up. Cas slowly opened his eyes and peeked at the breakfast. 

“Mmmmmm. Smells so good. Thank you, Dean“ 

“No problem, Cas. Now, come on, get up and eat.”

“No, not yet. Not until I get my morning kiss.” 

Dean laughed as he leaned in to offer a kiss that’s just like everything else this morning - soft, gentle, and perfect.

“I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too, Dean. I wish you had told me this before it was too late.” said Cas with a sad smile. 

Dean heard a loud wailing sound and he jerked awake, clutching his heart. He looked around trying to get his bearings. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Yet it felt so real.

The wailing was getting louder. Dean groaned as he got up from his bed and made his way to Jack’s room. 

Sam was already there trying to get Jack to stop crying. 

“It’s okay, Jack. Everything is okay, I am here. You want some milk, huh? Come on, let’s go to the kitchen.” said Sam as he picked Jack up from his crib. He noticed Dean standing at the door and said “You look like hell. Please tell me you weren’t drinking again.”

Dean shrugged and turned to head to the bathroom to take some aspirin for his throbbing headache. 

“Come on, Dean. It’s been three months since Cas died. I miss him, too. But you can’t keep drinking yourself to death. Please, talk to me.”

“Just leave me alone, Sam.”

He could see the worry on Sam’s face but he couldn’t face it, talk about it. 

Dean went inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror, face red and tears slipping down his cheeks.

_I am sorry, Cas. I wish I had told you sooner. Confessed my feelings instead of cowering behind a wall, being an emotional mess. Now it’s too late. Too fucking late. And I can’t do anything about it._

Dean closed his eyes, trying to remember his dream, Cas smiling at him, telling Dean that he loves him. But all he could think about was that night he lost everything. The night he lost Cas. The night Lucifer stabbed him before Dean and Sam could seal him inside the Apocalypse world forever. 

Dean kneeled at the spot where Lucifer stabbed Cas. He did not know how long he was kneeling next to Cas, was it seconds? Minutes? Hours?

He remembered Sam talking to him, trying to get him to come inside the cabin, saying something about Jack and Kelly dying giving birth to Jack. But he could not bring himself to think about all that. All he could do was stay with Cas.

Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Cas, my Angel, my best friend, my person, my everything. How many times he longed for Cas when he was off doing his Heaven work. How many times he longed to tell Cas how he really felt. How he loved him with everything he got. How scared he was to admit his feelings towards Cas.

But now it's too late. Cas is dead. Everytime he closed his eyes he could see the blinding flash of light, Cas's grace leaving his vessel. 

Dean kept staring at Cas’s burnt wings etched on the ground. Oh, how many times he wondered what Cas’s wings would look like. How many times he wondered if Cas would show him his wings, to touch it, to feel it. 

But this was not how he imagined seeing his wings. Not dead. Not burnt to the ground. 

_Cas, please come back to me. I need you._

Dean showered, took some Aspirin and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Sam was sitting on the dining table with Jack on his lap, feeding him a bottle of milk. 

He was making some bacon when all of a sudden he remembered his dream. He was making Cas bacon and eggs too. He felt the spatula leave his hand and drop to the floor. Dean’s throat closed up and tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. _No, no, no. Stop thinking about it._

“Dean, are you okay?” asked Sam with a tinge of worry in his voice. 

Dean cleared his throat and said “Yeah, Sam. I am awesome.”

Sam sighed and said “Do you want to hold Jack for a while?” 

Dean looked at the small bundle in Sam’s lap, tiny fingers wrapped around his feeding bottle. But all Dean could see iis that he is Lucifer’s son.

“No, Sammy. I don’t want to hold him” said Dean roughly. 

“Dean, he is just a baby. Just, look at him. He’s so adorable.” 

“No, Sam. I can hardly look at the kid. He is Lucifer’s child. He’s the reason Cas is dead. He promised him paradise on earth and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead. Now, you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t.” shouted Dean, all his feelings and regrets turning into such anger. 

Jack started to cry again. Sam gave him an annoyed look and left the kitchen with Jack. 

Dean was trying to calm himself down by taking deep breaths. He shouldn’t have shouted at Sam. Deep down he knows it’s not Jack’s fault. I mean, he is just a baby, an infant. Damn it. He should apologize to Sam later. Maybe buy him a salad or something. But not now. Right now, all Dean wanted to do was drink and pass out so that he doesn’t have to deal with all his feelings towards Cas, all those unsaid words. 

Dean went on a couple of solo hunts to take his mind off things. A vampire nest in Omaha. A djinn case in Wilmington. And a bunch of bars along the way. Sam called him every now and then to give him some updates about the case, told him about Jack and how adorable and lovely he is and asked Dean how he is doing. Dean always cut the call when he was asked that question and headed to the bar to drown in his sorrows instead. 

Dean was heading back to the bunker after three weeks. He got there around midnight. Sam and Jack were already asleep. He showered, went to bed and tried to get some sleep. 

Next morning, he woke up and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast for them. Sam and Jack came in after a few minutes. Jack was cooing in Sam’s arms, trying to catch his ridiculously long hair. 

“Morning, Sammy. How is he doing?” asked Dean nodding at Jack.

Sam was looking at Jack with a soft smile and said “He is doing great, Dean. He is a really quiet kid, not troublesome at all.”

“Hmmm.”

They were having their breakfast, Jack was drinking his milk making tiny sounds every now and then. Sam kept looking at Dean as if he wanted to ask something.

Finally, after a long silence, “Dean. Can you look after him today? I have been cooped up inside, doing baby stuff for weeks. I feel like I need a day or two out in the sun, get some fresh air, maybe go watch a movie at the theater next town. There is a new French documentary I want to watch.”

Dean looked at Sam. He really looked like he needed some rest from the baby duties. He looked at Jack. Dean sighed. 

“Fine, Sam. I can take care of him for a day or two.”

“Cool, thanks, Dean. All of Jack’s stuff is there in his room. His diaper bag, his clothes, his toys.” said Sam as he handed Jack to Dean. 

After a few minutes, he heard the bunker door close. Dean looked at Jack. He had finished his bottle and looked like he was about to take a nap. 

“Let’s get you into bed, now, shall we?” said Dean as he left the kitchen to Jack’s room. 

Jack was quiet for the most part. Dean spent some time watching western movies and hanging out with Jack. Sam was right, Jack _was_ an easy kid. 

He found it slightly better to look at Jack now, to take care of him. All his anger seemed to vanish when Jack gave him a smile. 

He had put Jack to sleep and went to his own room. Dean was struggling to go to sleep. He was still thinking about Cas and imagining “What if” scenarios. He also prayed to Chuck, again, begging him to bring Cas back. But nothing happened.

He heard some noises coming from Jack’s room. Dean went to check in on him and found that Jack was wide awake. 

He picked him up from his crib and sat on the rocking chair near the window. 

“Hey, kiddo. Can’t sleep? Me too.”

Jack looked at him with those big blue eyes. Eyes just like Cas’s. 

“You know, Castiel, he was an Angel. You have his eyes. He has these blue eyes, eyes like the sky. Every time I look at your eyes, you remind me so much of him. Hell, you even look like him. I don’t know how much you know about Cas, how much your Mom told you, but he loved you before you were even born. He believed in you. He believed that you will be good for this Earth. You will rid this Earth of suffering. But he is gone now, and I don’t know where he is, heaven or somewhere else, so even if you do all that, he wouldn’t be here to see it all.” 

Jack was looking at Dean without taking his eyes off, as if he was absorbing Dean’s every word. 

“He saved me, you know. So many freaking times. He even gave up Heaven and his army for us, for me. I don’t think I deserved it, all the faith he had in me. I couldn’t even save him when he was taken from me. I failed him. 

Tears were rolling down Dean’s face, but Dean continued.

“I miss him, Jack. I miss him so much. I … I love him. I love him so much it hurts. I don’t think I will be able survive without him. I regret not telling him how I felt, how I feel. I wish I could get him back, I wish I could say all this to him. But, it’s too late now.” 

Dean rubbed the tears off his face and looked at Jack. Jack was still staring at Dean with such intensity and for a minute he thought Jack’s eyes turned golden and it glowed. 

He rubbed his eyes and looked at Jack again, but it was back to blue. Did he imagine that? Did he hallucinate the golden eyes? 

They both were quiet for a while and slowly Jack drifted off to sleep. Dean kissed Jack’s forehead and put him in his crib. 

“Good night, Jack. Sleep well.” said Dean and went back to his room.

A few minutes later Dean got a call on his phone. Sam was probably at the movies or sleeping in a motel, who would be calling at this hour? 

Dean’s heart raced as he looked at the caller ID. It was Cas. How was that possible? 

“Cas?”

“Dean, it’s me. I am outside. Can you let me in?” 

It definitely sounded like Cas. He raced off to the bunker entrance and opened the door. 

“Cas?” 

“Hello, Dean”

He rushed to hug him, and held on to Cas for far too long. Cas hugged him back and he didn’t want to let go of him either. 

“Never do that again, Cas. Please don’t die on me.”

“Okay, Dean.” Cas said as he tightened his grip on Dean. 

Dean finally let go of Cas, but he was still close enough to feel Cas’s warmth next to him, still holding his hands. Dean closed the bunker door and led Cas to the war room. Dean seemed to be a loss for words. 

“How long was I gone?” enquired Cas. 

His lips started to quiver and he was starting to tear up. “Too damn long, Cas. I thought I lost you.”

“What happened? How are you here?” asked Dean. 

“I was in the Empty, it was dark and well, nothing. It’s this void where angels and demons go after they die. They sleep for eternity dreaming about all the regrets and failures. It was awful.”

“I am sorry, Cas. But hey, you are back now, I am so glad you are back, pal.” said Dean, and before he could lose the courage, Dean added, “and I missed you, so much”. 

“How are you, Dean? What happened after I was gone? Where is Sam and Jack?” 

“Sam is taking a couple days off to get some fresh air. As for Jack, come on, let me take you to him” said Dean as he took Cas’s hand and led him to Jack’s room. It felt good to hold his hand, comfortable. Cas did not seem to mind, either. 

“Cas, meet Jack.” 

Cas looked at Jack with a face full of love and adoration. Dean’s heart swelled with love looking at Cas with such a soft expression on his face. 

“He looks so much like you. He has your eyes, you know” said Dean softly. 

“He’s beautiful”, whispered Cas. 

They both stood near the crib for a few more moments, staring at Jack, staring at each other. 

Dean could not keep it in any longer. 

“Cas, I need to tell you something.” said Dean as he left Jack’s room. 

Cas looked at Dean with questioning eyes, “Sleep well, Jack” and he followed Dean to his room. 

Dean was pacing in his room, trying to control his heart beat. He needed to say it now. Cas is back, he is here. He has to tell Cas how he feels. Otherwise he would crumble to dust. All those times he wished that he had told Cas the truth, he could not wait any longer. He should not wait any longer. He waited long enough. 

“Dean. What’s wrong?” asked Cas as he came inside Dean’s room. 

“Cas, I, uh, I need to tell you something.” 

Cas was looking at him with a worried look in his eyes. Dean cursed himself for panicking and making Cas worry. 

“Cas, I know that I have said some hurtful stuff to you in the past. You are my best friend and I sometimes did not treat you like that. I don’t know why I get so angry, it’s just always been there. When things go bad, it comes out and I can’t stop it. No matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it.” 

Dean could feel his eyes burn as he feels the tears running down his face. Cas was looking at him with a pained expression, his eyes starting to tear up as well. 

“I, uh, I, uh, I love you, Cas. I have been in love with you for a while now.” whispered Dean as he took a step closer to Cas. 

Dean could see a flicker of shock in Cas’s eyes now. 

Cas stared at him with tears in his eyes. “Dean …” said Cas softly.

“I regret the fact that it’s taken me so long to say it. I wish I had the courage to say something before, but I was a coward.” 

The air was thick with emotion. Cas was still quietly staring at Dean, his expression soft. Dean was starting to panic, what if he doesn’t love me like that, what if I ruined our friendship by saying things out loud. 

“Cas, say something” pleaded Dean. 

“Dean” breathed Cas, quiet but raw with emotion, eyes wide in shock. The constant longing he had sensed from Dean growing over the years made so much sense now. 

“Cas”

“Dean, everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.” said Cas softly with tears running down his face as well.

“I love you, too, Dean” 

Dean closed the distance between them. He let his eyes wander between Cas’s eyes and lips. Dean bites his lips. He leaned in slowly, giving Cas some time to back off if he wanted to.

“Cas, Can I kiss you?”

Cas gently wiped the tears off Dean’s face and he gave Dean an adorable smile and nodded. 

Dean looked into Cas’s eyes and gently cupped his face before closing his eyes and placing a tender kiss as delicately as he could on Cas’s lips. 

As the kiss became more intense, Cas snaked his fingers into Dean’s hair and his other hand was wrapped firmly around his lower back. Dean pressed his lips more firmly into Cas’s and slipped his cautiously into his lips. Soon they were gasping for air, well at least Dean was. Cas, being an angel, he could go on all night long. 

“Wow, that was awesome” said Dean breathlessly. That was when he noticed something else embracing him, something soft. He turned and saw Cas’s wings was also wrapped around him. 

His wings. It was magnificent, divine. It was black with hints of green. 

“Cas, they are beautiful. You are beautiful” gasped Dean. 

“Thank you, Dean.” blushed Cas.

“Can I touch them?” Dean whispered in awe.

Cas nodded. Dean slowly raised his hands to touch Cas’s feathers. The wings twitched a little as Dean trailed his hands over them. It was so soft. 

“Awesome” 

They kissed for quite some time and then they finally went to bed. 

Next morning, they woke up to find Sam playing with Jack sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Hello, Sam” said Cas.

Sam looked up with a shocked and happy face. “Cas?”

He looked at Dean looking for some kind of explanation. Dean went to take Jack off Sam's hands. Sam rushed to give Cas a hug. 

“I am so glad you are back, Cas.”

“Me, too, Sam” said Cas. 

They all sat around the kitchen table, exchanging stories. Jack instantly liked Cas, he jumped to Cas from Dean’s arms. Dean was looking at them with so much love. Dean took Cas’s hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles. Sam caught his expression and Dean blushed, shrugging and getting up to make some breakfast.

Dean has never been this happy. This peaceful. This content. He has everything he needs right here. He has his Angel, his kid and his baby brother. 

All was well. This is heaven on earth. 


End file.
